Daniele Whalen's Personal Narrative

Vivid Memories

            Memory is a very interesting topic to me.  As a psychology major, it is something that we study over and over and that people are constantly trying to understand.  At a more personal level, it is fascinating to reflect on the act of remembering, rather than just simply remembering something.  To think about why, how, and what I remember is something I am not sure I have ever put much thought into.   Memory, for me, works in both organized and chaotic ways.  Sometimes I remember certain things for a purpose, like a test, yet other times memories are triggered by sights, sounds, or smells.  Even stranger is the presence of a memory with an absence of any sort of trigger, a memory that seemingly comes out of nowhere.

When I encounter a memory, it is generally very clear as if I were watching a movie.  I see memories visually in my mind and they come in the form of color images. Being a visual person, it makes sense that I recall memories in the form an image or video-like replay.  It is remarkable the detail that I am able to remember events in, from the clothing I was wearing to exact statements that either others or myself made.  Granted, I realize that I remember these events from solely my own perspective.  As far as memory is concerned with schoolwork, I would never claim to have a photographic memory although I do have photographic memory tendencies.  The reason I refer to them as “tendencies” is because of their inconsistency.  Occasionally I approach a test and can visualize the piece of paper that my notes were taken on, in other words, I can literally see the notes.  At other times, this does not work and I rely on more traditional study techniques.  Unfortunately, the consistency versus inconsistency of my so-called photographic memory is quite unpredictable.  

My family would all agree that I have a very strong long-term memory.  My short-term memory is fine; it is what I would consider normal.  My long-term memory however, is very extensive.  Just the other day, on a hike with my parents, I recalled camping at the exact place as a small child.  This camping trip I remember had only occurred once around the age of six.  I was able to recall the exact position along the lake that we had set up our tent and my parents were astonished that I remembered this event.  Nothing spectacular or eventful occurred on the trip, but for some indescribable reason I could recall being in this place over a decade ago. 

What I find most interesting of all about memory is the inability to remember.  There is this very specific smell that I only occasionally smell.  As soon as I smell it, it triggers my brain to try to remember where it comes from or where I have encountered it before. This strange phenomenon has been occurring over the past six to seven years and I can never place exactly what the memory surrounding this smell is.  All I can tell from the smell is that the memory must be something unpleasant.  This is one example of where I have experienced memory lapses.  I would love to discover what this smell reminds me of and even further, understand why I cannot remember it.  Feeling this strange sensation of a memory being just on the tip of my tongue is something I find extremely frustrating, it consumes me and I spend hours trying to place the sensation with its corresponding memory.  Is this sense of a memory real? Is there really a memory there to be found at all?

I’ve described my memory as being very good, but the real question is how can I know this? Can I really trust my memory? After all, another common psychology topic are the infamous false memories of children.  I have confirmed with my mother to have a false memory or two as a child.  I have a very distinct memory of the layout of the house my family lived in when I was three years old.  The house contained a trap door hidden in the carpet of the living room that led to the basement.  My parents look at me with confusion every time I describe the house to them, because most of my other memories around the same time are correct.  This one however, they claim time and time again, is incorrect.  So I think I have a pretty good memory, but I also have confirmed false memories from my childhood, can I or can I not trust my own memory?

Maybe it is the optimist in myself, but I’d like to believe that, yes, I can trust my own memory.  The reasoning for this is that famous saying “hindsight is 20/20.”  Whether I may have been right or wrong, looking back on a situation it always is easier to take a third person perspective and be able to understand why things happened the way they did.  It is also easier to see what could have been done differently.  For these reasons, it seems that my memory is something that I can trust.  I haven’t had a confirmed false memory since my early childhood, which makes me wonder if false memories are something solely constricted to childhood. The idea that false memory is something that only children experience also helps me to trust in myself that my memories are accurate.

After taking a deep and insightful look into my own experiences with memories, I have arrived at more questions than answers.  I would love to better understand my own memory, this could be so helpful and enable me to manage and have control over my own memory and performance on memory related tasks.